Kicking a Word Around

The "F" stands for "football."

As the 2014 World Cup kicks off in Brazil (accompanied by the usual ~ and that is not to say meaningless ~ opprobrium), the question again rears its ugly head: Why do we call the game "soccer" when just about everyone else in the world calls it "football"?: http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2014/06/why-we-call-soccer-soccer/372771/
   The Onion graciously goes over the rules of the game for those who want to keep up (graphic): http://o.onionstatic.com/images/26/26476/original/1200.jpg?8997